I'm Baaack~

Wow, I've been absent for a while, haven't I?  Here's a brief recap of what happened these past few months:


STAGE 1: The Wait
(March 1 - March 25)
I wait for college decisions while trying not to freak out.  I research ways I can improve my chances.  Despite not being religious, I pray piously at least three times a day that Mount Holyoke will accept me.  I start stalking my college admissions officers.


STAGE 2: The Decisions
(March 25 - April 3)
I try to cope with the fact that not one freaking college accepted me during Stage 1.  I contemplate this complete and epic fail, but manage to stay fairly optimistic thanks to my early acceptance to Willamette.   Any disappointment I still feel about my multitude of rejections disappears when I unexpectedly receive a waitlist letter from the University of Rochester on April 3.  (O_O WTF!?)  This proved that I am secretly a genius!  *dramatic music* I spend the next couple days basking in my awesomeness ^^ 


STAGE 3: Oh, the Humanity!
(April 5 - April 23)
        Willamette gives me no financial aid.  Well, actually they did give me financial aid, but the remaining bill (after taking out max federal loans, grants, etc.) was equal to my household's entire annual income -_-"  Loyola U in Chicago (the only other college that accepted me) gave me even worse financial aid.  I submit a financial re-evaluation for Willamette, but although the financial adviser I talked to on the phone agreed that Willamette would be financially impossible if I didn't receive more aid, she cautioned me against getting my hopes up due to budget reasons (urrgh...).
        This prompted me to try really really hard to get off Rochester's waitlist.  Then the admissions counselor at Rochester tells me that they're actually expecting to be over-enrolled and doubts Rochester will go to the waitlist at all this year.  This leads to PANIC, because OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!!!!!!  I loose >5 pounds due to stress.
        My psychiatrist expresses mild concern about my weight loss and also asks about my college stuff.  I confide in him.  He expresses empathy and offers advice and brainstorms ways he might be able to help (T^T *sniff sniff* I was touched by this act of kindness).
        I take his advice and look at applying locally (so at least I'll have a loose plan in case Willamette doesn't work out) and spend a great deal of time looking into what actions I can take to get a better financial aid offer from Willamette.  There aren't any, so I stress over my inability to solve "Problem: Willamette Fin. Aid" in any conceivable way.
        On the evening of April 23, Willamette finally emailed me, only to inform me that they had not increased my award by a single penny.  (So much for their "great financial aid"...)


STAGE 4: Adrenaline...It Gives You WINGS!!!
(April 23 - May 20)
        There's no time to cry about Willamette.  I realize that I need to do something RIGHT NOW if I want to go to college at all.
       So, BOOM!  I research more colleges!  I write essays!  I submit fee waivers!  I apply to 7 colleges in 2 weeks!
        Because of the fact that I can now do something instead of just sitting there like a duck gives me a huge mood boost.  I feel suuuuuper successful...so much that it matters little that I'm writing an essay at 5AM and haven't slept or eaten or showered in days!!!  I mean, who needs caffeine when you have adrenaline!? 


STAGE 5: Conclusion
(End of May - Present)
...and in the end, I decided to take my psychiatrist's advice, go to the local state school, and try for a Smith transfer.  Which brings us to the present ^^