Resistance

Have you ever heard of this thing called resistance?  It's where you have to do something, but every time you think of doing that something you suddenly feel like doing something--anything--else.  For example, every time you think of cleaning your desk you have an irresistible urge to check your email.  Or, in my case, every time I think of doing my AP Stats homework I suddenly get waves of exhaustion and feel the urge to take a nap (lol).

Ugh.  I have AP Stats homework, a computer sci. assignment, a painting, and a paper I have to write.  Frankly I don't really feel like doing ANY of those things.  *Pause* Well, the paper actually sounds like fun because I chose my own topic and everything.  But the paper is the only thing I feel willing to do right now.

Perhaps I would feel more motivated to do my homework if I actually got a break afterwards.  But of course that's not the case.  After I slave for hours finishing AP Stats, then I get to write my supplemental essay for my safety college.  And THEN I have to study for my Japanese final (apparently the teacher is making us actually WRITE kanji on the final, which is completely absurd since we didn't even study that.  All we practiced was RECOGNIZING kanji...we literally practiced writing them a full 20 minutes this semester.  That's including homework.  And we're supposed to memorize each 12-16 specific strokes for 50 different kanji in less than 2 weeks?  Seriously?  No offense but why wasn't I told this earlier so I could have been STUDYING in advance and not having to cram for the next two weeks?)  And after I finish studying kanji, then I have to write two more essay supplements, come up with a song that describes me (why is that even a question on the college application?  Does my admission decision depend on the song?  I seriously think that it might.), wash my clothes, send in fee waiver requests, complete some college forms, work on my flute music for my art supplement, etc.  Frankly I am not looking forward to any of this.

Actually I find it rather odd.  I mean, on a normal basis I totally thrive on work.  I'm pretty much an ergomaniac.  If I'm not working constantly I feel depressed.  So why don't I want to do any of this stuff?  I think it might be because, after I finish my homework, I have to get around to the college stuff.

It's weird; anytime I do something concerning my college application I either:
(a) Don't want to
(b) Feel depressed after I complete it
(c) Experience resistance
(d) All of the above

Do you know after I submitted my first college app I felt depressed?  That's right, depressed!  I submitted my college app and supplements, and then I decided to play games the rest of the night in order to distract myself from my futile existence.  Is that weird of what?  You'd think I'd be feeling a sense of accomplishment, like, "Yay!  I finally submitted it!"  But instead I just get an overwhelming feeling of depressment.

Is it a fear of rejection?  Probably.  You see, my nightmares used to consist of being brutally murdered or chased down a never ending hallway.  Now my nightmares consist of me not getting accepted at any colleges.  Despite how much effort I put into my application, in the end it is completely out of my hands.  It's terrifying; my life, future, and entire fate lie in the hands of a total stranger who crushes people's dreams for a living.  If that's not scary, nothing is.

*Ahem*  But...despite this...I WILL OVERCOME!!!  You heard correctly, I will heroically OVERCOME the fear and resistance that comes with college apps!!!  Bah, I refuse, REFUSE to be defeated by a mere piece of electronic paper.  No longer will I let this college app loom over my head like a dark cloud.  No more will I let the dark cloud of nothingness (aka the fear of college rejection) swallow me and feed off my fear like a parasite.  Bwahahaha this college stuff doesn't stand a chance against my unwavering motivation to persevere!  Yep, that's my moto: HARD WORK!  PERSEVERANCE!  DILIGENCE!  *does an anime spin while saying this*

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Halloween 2011

So, I decided that in honor of Halloween I'd take a change of pace.  That's right, everyone; instead of talking obsessively about college and applications and all that jazz right now I am going to talk about how my Halloween went.

This year I went trick-or-treating with my little sister and her friend (I know, I really need a better social life.  Or at least some social life.)  I dressed up as a sleepwalker.  Oddly enough no one knew what I was supposed to be; one person guessed a blanket, and another person thought I was a desperate housewife (don't know where that one came from, lol).

For all those people that think I'm way to old to be trick-or-treating...NO ONE KNOWS THAT!!!  That's right, Halloween is the one night when looking like I'm still in 8th (9th grade at most) totally pays off!

Ha ha, sometimes it's kind of funny.  I see all my sister's friends from middle school and they tower above me.  I don't know if anyone reading has seen middle schoolers nowadays, but they are so tall and developed.  Considerably more so than the 5' 2" A-cup senior writing this, ha ha.  Middle school is the new high school in terms of physical development and maturity.  Maybe it's because my sister and I look young for our age, but when my sister introduced me to her friends I thought she was hanging out with high schoolers.

Bleh.  I feel really sick right now.  I don't even know why; I only had about 12 pieces of chocolate.  When I was 13 I could totally eat an entire jumbo bag of mini chocolate bars from Walmart before I felt even a little sick.  >:)  Lol, I would finish around half my candy Halloween night.

Tonight I didn't even eat 1/4 and I feel like someone tore out my insides.  I keep getting sharp stomach pangs and waves of nausea.  It's probably the milk.  Every time I have any dairy products anymore--milk, butter, whipped cream--I feel deathly ill.  I'm not sure if I'm lactose intolerant or allergic or just can't handle the animal fat or what.  (I should probably go to the doctor and get that tested.)  Whatever the case, it totally sucks!  I can't eat cookies or chocolate anymore without feeling deathly ill all night and waking up due to sharp stomach cramps.  Ugh.  : P

Well, that's how my Halloween went.  Please put in the comments what you did this year for Halloween!  Tomorrow (I guess today, since it's 6:24 AM right now) I'll post some pictures!  : )

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The Rough Draft is DONE!

I have finally done it!  Today I wrote the rough draft of my college essay :)  It's true: my fate, my future, and possibly the world lie in the hands of my 478 word essay.

Lol, just kidding.  At least about the world part.  I tried not to focus on that while I was writing my essay; the thought was quite nervewracking and distracting.

In case I haven't mentioned it yet, I am submitting all my application materials via the Common App.  (Whoot!  Almost no application fees!)  I found that their selection of prompts was stifling the flow of my creative vibes, so I decided to choose "Topic of Your Choice" and create my own prompt.  Unfortunately I do not want to share it with anyone quite yet because I don't want anyone to go stealing my idea >:(  After the hectic application season is over and I get my acceptance letters, THEN I will be posting everything online as an example.  But not until then.

Despite my griping, writing the essay was probably the best part of the application process.  I was an opportunity to demonstrate my creativity and have a little fun while I was at it.  Once I had settled on my idea, it was actually pretty fun.

So, you're probably wondering how long it took me to write the essay.  It took me...a day.  Well, at least technically.  On a more abstract scale I've kind of been "writing" it for a couple months.  For me, the majority of the writing process consists of coming up with an idea and bringing that idea into full form.  It isn't until AFTER those two steps that the writing writing begins.  You know, the part where you type and put those ideas into words.  That's the easier part.  That's the part that took me a day.

Of course, I'm sure my essay will undergo some revisions.  I'm definitely sending it to my teachers and counselors to look over.  And then I still have to write all the supplementary, "Why" essays.  (You know, the "Why do you want to go to our college" and "What can our college do for you" or "What can you bring to our college"...that sort of thing.)  However, I know I am definitely sticking to my idea and the basic form of my essay.  So, all things considered, today I feel like I have crossed a big mile stone.  Wow...finally I have completed the first draft of my essay.  :)

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The Superhuman Applicant Pool

After studying obsessively about college essays and the stats of college applicants, I have come to a ground-breaking conclusion: today's college applicants are nothing short of superhuman.  Don't believe me?  Okay then, let's take a look at the following applicants*:

Jamie, who played soccer and ran track for four years.  She was passionate about music and performed in many ensembles.  It all earned her national recognition and allowed her to travel cross-country.

Audrey, who won first place in the Texas Music Teachers Association's High School Division Piano Concerto Contest (that's certainly a mouthful) her senior year.  She placed at state level the three previous year and she's performed with tons of orchestras.  Audrey was captain of her high school's Academic Challenge BTeam, salutatorian of her graduating class (GPA of 6.62/6.00), and a National AP Scholar.  She conducted scientific research the summer following her junior year of high school on the gold-labeling of the nicotinic acetylcholine receptor and cervical cancer detection using fluorescence spetroscopy.  (I have no idea what half the things in the sentence mean, but it sounds really impressive.  Apparently Harvard had even more qualified applicants because for some reason they rejected her.  That shocks me and makes me seriously wonder how qualified their accepted applicants are...)

Adam created and maintained many advanced websites, including some at no charge for nonprofit organizations.  He won several school and regional awards for computer science.

Robyn was twice named Orange Country Impromptu Speech champion.  She held leadership positions in the French and Drama Clubs, as well as in the Aspiring Authors Society and a humor magazine, The W.C.--both of which she founded.  Robyn was also varsity team mascot and house manager for school plays.  outside of school, she donated more than 1,000 books to children's homes, served as a volunteer library storyteller, and wrote an advice column for the local newspaper.  Before sending out her transfer applications, Robyn signed a book deal with Random House to publish a young adult novel, created a website based on her search for a literary agent, and worked on an anthology of humorous short stories.

The list goes on.  It seems that every applicant in this book (please see asterisk) did something incredible!  They either founded a big charity, owned a business, helped children in Crotia with war trauma, taught autistic children to communicate, made ground-breaking scientific discoveries, won national awards, or did something else equally amazing.  Not to mention that they all have unbelievably high GPA's and test scores (the girl I'm looking at now had a 4.63 weighted GPA).  These applicants have done just about everything short of winning the Noble Peace Prize.

Now, before I go any further, I just want to applaud these hardworking applicants.  I admire their hard work and amazing credentials.  On the other hand...

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THAT KIND OF COMPETITION!?!?!?  Giving kids prizes for reading holds nothing against teaching autistic children to read!  Having a lead part in a community theater play is boring and mediocre compared to performing plays around the world!  I've never gotten anything published, never made a scientific discovery, haven't traveled the world yet and have yet to be leader of anything!  How am I supposed to compete with these superhumans?!?!?!  (Also, please note that I am referring to these applicants as "superhumans" in the best of ways.  Really, they are truly incredible and I mean it as a compliment.)

Hmmm...perhaps I'm just a late bloomer and that's why I haven't accomplished anything this awesome yet.  Or at least I'm hoping that's how the colleges will see it.

Yeah, I know that Princeton Review obviously picked the cream of the crop for its book, but still...I go to school with people like this!  People with jaw-dropping GPA's, who take an unbelievable number of AP classes, who are vigorously training to become professional ballet dancers and soccer players...

I have to think of some way to make myself stand out.  To give me a competitive edge.  Hmmm...

Okay, when I come up with something I will make sure to post it on here.

 

 

 

*All of the information about the applicants has been taken directly from the Princeton Review's College Essays that Made a Difference 4th edition.  So all rights go to Princeton Review!

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A Midsummer Night's Dream

Tonight, I saw a wonderful showing of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" at Mesa Ridge High School.

This has always been my favorite of Shakespeare's work.  However, this was the first time I have ever seen the performance live.  Mesa Ridge did a really great job on it!

The set was beautiful.  The choreography was awesome.  Everyone did a really good job with bringing out their character's humor.  I love love LOVED it!  If anyone from Mesa Ridge is reading this, congratulations!   You guys did a great job!

I love plays.  Reading plays, watching plays, being in plays...plays are just so awesome!  When I'm an English major, I hope to read a lot of plays.

My favorite character in a Midsummer's Night's Dream has got to be Puck.  Puck is so funny!  It's cute how he messes everything up between the lovers and has to fix it.  His mistakes and their outcomes are rather comical.

Anyway, in short I am very happy that I went to this performance tonight.  Social outings can be somewhat...uncomfortable for me, to say the least.  However, it was definitely worth it to get out there and see this.  It was a great break from studying and brainstorming for my college essay <3

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