I'm Most Like a...Badger?

Even I have to admit this picture is cool.
All the other pictures made badgers look like
prickly porcupine pandas -_-"

So I'm filling out college apps again and got one of those weird questions...this one was, "If you were an animal, what would you be?"

I totally wanted to put down saber-toothed tiger right then.  Because they're awesome.  And I'm also awesome.

But except for that one similarity, I can think of few real similarities between me and a prehistoric wild cat.

So I Google "what animal best fits my personality" and found this Dr. Phil test that is supposedly uncannily accurate.  You can find it here: http://animalinyou.com/test.php 

I take this super short quiz, only to find out that I'm most like...a badger?  *Pause* Seriously?  I was hoping for something cool and exciting, like a tiger or an eagle, but instead a get a badger.  Come on, that just sounds lame!  I can't put that on a college app!

Badgers are closely related to weasel personalities and share the same range as their cousins the skunks. What distinguishes them from their relatives is their extraordinary physical and emotional strength and tenacious approach to life's challenges. Good looking, small to medium sized individuals, they walk and talk as if they own the world and their powerfully built bodies and dominating personalities back down for no one, not even the much larger personality of the lion. They will confidently enter the territory of others -- woe betide anyone who blocks their path.

Like most carnivores, badgers stay in shape with regular physical activity and are well dressed and precisely groomed. They enjoy all sports and their competitive natures drive them to the edges of their abilities. Because of their small size, they sometimes feel the need to assert themselves to gain the respect accorded the larger carnivores. However, the badger's tendency to bite off more than it can chew often results in an overestimation of its capabilities. With the heart of a tiger, tenacity is both their greatest asset and biggest downfall.

Badger personalities seldom find time for the finer pleasures of life. Art and literature are considered distracting to the pursuit of resources, and their reading habits are usually confined to light fiction or popular action novels.

Badgers are almost always successful in business but often find themselves over their head. Towering ambitions cause them to make sweeping plans without considering the finer details of the exercise. With such an abundance of self-confidence, badgers sometimes rush headlong into overwhelming situations and are forced to burrow their way out. Even so, they never go down without a fight.

The badger is highly regarded as a leader, especially by the smaller animal personalities, but their physical stature can limit political ambitions. This doesn't deter them from running races they are destined to lose, however. Like their cousin the weasel, badgers are opportunists and sometimes team up in business with the more thoughtful animal personalities to help offset their impetuous nature. As a salesperson, they have few equals. Jobs requiring a high degree of proactive selling are ideally suited for the badger's get-up-and-go personality. As managers they are somewhat overbearing, but nonetheless fair and rational. They don't exhibit much of an ego and with their head down, rooting for opportunities, badgers always generate a great deal of respect from their peers.

Careers and Hobbies: Engineer, Soldier, Reporter, Police, Basketball, Gambling, Golfing, Hunting, Fishing, Debating 

Famous Badgers: Matt Dillon, Joe Pesci, Napoleon Bonaparte, Robert DeNiro, Oliver North 

I can't believe I got such a lame result.  This makes me sound like a crazy overconfident impulsive person who must depend on others for success.  Yeah, I have high ambitions, but I totally think about details!  I don't need to depend on "more thoughtful animal personalities"...also, that's insulting, because it insinuates that I am not thoughtful when in reality I analyze everything.

And what's with mentioning my "small stature?"  I put down "average sized" on the quiz so that I could avoid getting anything small!  And for the record, 5' 2" isn't THAT small, because I know plenty of people who are shorter than me!  You know, this is probably why I didn't get tiger.  THIS QUIZ IS BIASED TOWARDS TALL PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!

As for famous people, the only one I really know on this list is Napoleon, who totally fits the bill for "crazy overconfident impulsive person."  Also, he failed, because his overconfidence and impulsiveness led to his ultimate demise.  Obviously this is not encouraging.

Of course, this could be worse.  In the corner of my results page, it said, "You might also be a warthog or a rooster."  Seriously, a warthog?  That's considerably worse than a badger.  Thankfully I looked at the personality and warthog doesn't fit me at all; yes, I may be arrogant and self-serving, but I certainly don't act like that in public.  I have an image to upkeep.

Bah, this quiz totally irritated me >:(  I wanted something cool and exciting but nooooo...I get badger....