Loneliness

Since Ex-BF has left, I've been a total wreck.  True, Ex-BF and I really weren't that close after we broke up.  But I always knew I could talk to him or hang out with him if I needed someone.  Even if he ignored all my calls and emails, if worst came to worse I would just show up on his doorstep ^w^  Now that he's gone I don't have anyone.

Yes, I am ashamed to admit that my only friend was the egocentric idiot who broke up with me on the most important day of the year and ruined my life.  (Confession: I have no social life.  The last time I went out to an event to meet new people was when I was 12 and joined writing club.)

This is for three reasons:
1. Throughout high school I had pretty severe social anxiety, so I never got out much.
2. I don't really know how to make friends.  I hate that there's no real set formula.  It's confusing.  I can totally relate to that anime Boku wa Tomadachi ga Sukinai. 
3. I'm going to college next year, so it seems meaningless to pour countless hours into making new friends when I'll be leaving in less than a year.

In conclusion, I've been incredibly lonely.  Moreover, it's nearly impossible for me to relax.  I'm super high strung 24/7, so Ex-BF's laid back, carefree personality was almost therapeutic.

Therefore, to solve both my loneliness and workaholic-ness, I'm considering getting a couple male rats.

Two because I heard rats are better off in pairs.  They're supposedly friendly, intelligent, easy to care for, and loyal.  Male rats are supposed to be lazier and like to cuddle more, and cuddling totally helps me to relax!  Oh yeah, and you can teach them tricks.  Basically they're described as a low-maintenance dog.

The problem: a lot of the colleges I'm applying to don't allow pets of any kind.  Which totally sucks; I highly believe that having a pet would better help me adjust to the whole college thing.  But unless I get accepted at a college that allows pets and decide that I most definitely want to go there, no questions asked, I guess I won't be getting rats anytime in the near future.

Grrr...stupid rules!  Colleges treat you like a little kid.  You can't have pets.  You have to take all these stupid gen. ed. requirements to graduate.  You have to live on campus.  Now that I'm 18, I assumed I could make my own decisions.  But apparently not...I just moved from having my parents control my life to having the college control my life.  It irritates me!