Well, a month or so ago I googled my previous screen name just to see what came up. Apparently 3,760 results: bands, Youtube videos...the most noticeable one was the blog name of a digital artist (not me, btw). I wasn't even listed anywhere on the first three pages. And here I thought my screen name was so original...seriously, I spent a really long time trying to brainstorm that name!
On the other hand, when I googled my rival's username that she uses for, well, EVERYTHING, guess how many results there were? 87,200 results. But they were all from her.
Well, at least all the results of the first 5 pages were. I didn't get any further than that because at that point I got super irritated and thought, "Bah, how DARE my arch rival be more creative than me!?!?!?"
For the 13,000,000th time I thought to myself, "Seriously, does she do these things on purpose? Yeah, she acts all ignorant and innocent and cute...but...IT'S GOT TO BE AN ACT!!!!!! Obviously she's just trying to get me to lower my guard! Bah, she's totally trying to steal my boyfriend!!!!" <--(Has temporarily forgotten that Ex-BF and I are no longer going out. Am also ignorant to the fact that she does not know my username.) At this point I picture Rival chuckling evilly. "Well, I'll show her! Whatever she can do, I can do better!"
Hence I spent over a month trying to come up with a name that was more original than hers.
One of the reasons it took me so long was because every time I tried to think of something, I was suddenly overwhelmed with self doubt. The more I thought about it, the more unlikely my original theory seemed. Maybe she wasn't even trying to beat me. There's nothing worse than trying super hard to outdo your rival, only to have that person outdo you without even trying.
This thought caused severe self doubt in not only my creativity but my entire worth as a human being. Apparently Rival has something that I do not, because Ex-BF likes her more than me, based upon the fact that he was sleeping with her behind my back. Unfortunately, I have no idea what that something is. I began to wonder if it was impossible to gain whatever it was that she has. So then I'd end up in the corner curled in the fetal position, contemplating my worthlessness.
After a few weeks, I eventually thought, "Bah, I refuse to accept that I can't outdo her! Anything can be accomplished with enough hard work! Yes, even if I can't win Ex-BF, I shall win the wonderful game of life! When I'm super successful someday and admired by everyone, she shall grovel at my feet! She shall beg for me to honor her with small tasks, such as bringing me my coffee or doing whatever other menial task I assign her! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"
I then picture Rival grovelling at my feet sometime in the near future. For a visual representation, please see 5:40 - 6:09 in the following video.
Yes, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit how far I'll go to outdo someone. If I was a character in a Greek mythology, competition would probably be the fatal flaw that led to my untimely demise.
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