Fear

Alright, who hasn't experienced fear?  I'm assuming everyone reading this has indeed experienced it at one time or another.

Right now I feel very fearful, actually.  I'm like on fear overload.


My List of Uber Giant Worries

- The ACT is tomorrow.  Yes, even though I've taken it 2 times before, I'm scared.  How's that for lame?  -_-"

- My EEG scan is on Tuesday.  They explained the procedure to me, which put me at ease at first...then I realized that they said, "turn off the lights."  So does that mean I'm going to be in the pitch dark?  Nnngh, I don't want to be in the dark!  >_<  Furthermore my psychiatrist is having me take this EEG in the first place to test for mini seizures.  That alone is pretty scary.  I mean, he says it's pretty rare and it's just a standard test he does, but still...so now I'm worried that I might be having mini seizures.

- My application is due November 1st.  I still haven't written my essay.  In fact, I'm still not quite sure what to write about -_-"

- I had a nightmare that I missed Halloween.  That's right, I was so busy with college stuff that I didn't have to time to finish my costume.  And since my costume isn't finished yet, missing Halloween has actually become a very real fear...

- Since I'm applying Early Admission for a lot of colleges, I'll be getting my decisions soon.  Like around December.  Willamette University is one of my top colleges this year, so I'm really worried about not getting in.  To be quite honest I thought it was kind of a long shot anyway, but then they sent me their Leadership Application.  As in, they sent me about three emails concerning it and also one letter via snail mail.  Obviously I was totally thrilled that one of my top colleges took a special interest in me!  They inviting me to fill out this uber special application with tons of benefits, and wrote me a personal letter saying that they think I have "outstanding potential and would be a great asset to the Willimette community."  So assuming that they're going to such lengths, that means I'm pretty likely to get in, right?  On the other hand, I'm scared of getting my hopes up only to have them reject me.  So even though getting this super special treatment should have made me feel more confident, now I'm even more scared than ever of getting rejected!



I can't stop thinking about all these things, so now I can't sleep -_-"  Which sucks, because I have to wake up early for the ACT tomorrow.  I'm actually waiting for the aspirin to kick in right now (aspirin works like a sleeping pill for me).  The usual two weren't working so I took three.  At which point I became terrified that I might die or something.  So I looked it up online and it turns out that it's not a big deal.  Haha...well, at least that's one less thing to worry about :)